The other day, one of my clients mentioned he had been reading about something called a “dad bod”. I actually had never heard of it, so I did a little research.
What I found was a shitload of terrible posts talking about the new “craze” in men’s health and fitness: The dad bod.
As it turns out, a college girl named Mackenzie Pearson wrote an article in March called “Why Girls Love The Dad Bod”, and it stirred up quite a conversation online. Apparently being an average Joe with little muscle tone and a modest layer of fat is extremely desirable to millions of girls and women.
Who’d of thunk it.
According to Mackenzie the dad bod says, “I go to the gym occasionally, but I also drink heavily on the weekends and enjoy eating eight slices of pizza at a time. It’s not an overweight guy, but it isn’t one with washboard abs, either.”
Sounds like the vast majority of men, huh?
Supposedly, the reasons for the dad bod being so desirable are:
- It’s not intimidating.
- It’s better for cuddling.
- They are not afraid to eat cheat meals.
Here’s what I say to that:
- Guys, we want to be intimidating, don’t we? We want women to think we are out of their league, even if we aren’t. It’s a tremendous confidence boost when we feel that way about ourselves.
- I disagree with this one for sure. Why is cuddling with a squishy man any better than a firm one?
- I’m not either! Cheat meals are part of the plan if you are eating well most of the time.
Here’s the definition from the Urban Dictionary and it sounds pretty spot on to me.
The Dadbod Diet???
I had to laugh when I came across an article titled Eat Your Way To A Dadbody This Summer, which tells us that in order to achieve this fantastic dad bod that millions of women are swooning for, we are to do the following:
“Each meal should have some element of the following: corn syrup, batter, melted cheese, and beer. Make sure to add the occasional super serving of synthetic protein to help develop the solid muscle beneath your flab layer.”
A typical day on the dad bod diet would look like the following:
Breakfast: Orange Gatorade and a Clif Bar
Snack: Protein powder mixed into JIF, smeared on a single slice of white bread
Lunch: Two Trader Joe’s frozen burritos and a Wendy’s Frosty (no fries for dipping)
Snack: Two-thirds of a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos, two Coors beers
Dinner: Six slices of a large Papa John’s pepperoni pizza dipped in garlic-butter sauce and three Budweisers
Breakfast: Bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich with extra American cheese, coffee, and orange Gatorade
Snack: Chocolate Muscle Milk
Lunch: Buffalo wings and mozzarella sticks from Brother Jimmy’s, a pitcher of Coors beer
Snack: Partially defrosted Trader Joe’s frozen burrito
Dinner: Chipotle Burrito Bowl with double steak, sour cream, corn, pico, cheese, guacamole, and a large Coke.
Breakfast: Protein shake made with water, ice, and P90X vanilla protein powder, a handful of gummy multivitamins
Snack: A six-pack of Budweiser (potential sub, a 12-pack of Miller Lite)
Lunch: Chop’t Steakhouse Salad with Texranch dressing
Snack: UTZ Ruffles potato chips with an entire container of French-onion dip
Dinner: All the items on Taco Bell’s Cantina Power Menu (High Protein Meets Big Flavor) with two additional Doritos Locos tacos, an order of cinnamon twists, and a large Dew.
Apparently, eating this way will get you looking as good as Adam Sandler or Russell Crowe (proud dad bod owners) in no time!
Every man (and woman’s dream!)
It’s fucking bullshit and insanely unhealthy!
In a comment on the original post, this guy said it best:
I have to believe that much of the hype around this is nothing more than a ploy for websites to get views. I mean, can they honestly tell us that we should be eating chips and dip by the bucket full and expect not to die of <insert disease> here?
This Is Just Ridiculous
One site states that “super-shredded male bodies have long been held up as the ideal in media portrayals of attractiveness, but a quick glance around any public space in North America will prove that it’s far from the norm.”
This is true. It isn’t the norm nor should it be! That’s why it’s so fucking desirable! That is why we, as men, bust our asses in the gym, make diet sacrifices, and commit to living healthy lives. We don’t want to look like every other dud out there.
Isn’t there a reason that health clubs generate hundreds of millions of dollars annually? It’s because we want desperately not to look like we have a dad bod.
How are we supposed to adopt the dad bod mentality when we’ve been learning our entire lives that being lean, muscular, and fit is what women want and what we should be striving for?
Are we supposed to rewire our brains and tell ourselves that being a gelatinous lump of body fat is now desirable?
As a recent post by TheDailyBeast.com states “What a weekend for American men. For the first time in a long time they have been eyeing their paunches in the bathroom mirror, and thinking, “Yeah, looks pretty damned good,” and ordering a guilt-free pizza.”
You’re kidding me, right? Are men actually suddenly thinking their flabby stomachs are hot now? That’s never going to happen regardless of how much all the social media streams tell us so.
If This Is True, I’m Out Of A Job
The #1 reason I train men is to not look like they have a dad bod and then working to avoid ever having it again. This kind of flies in the face of what all this dad bod hype is telling us.
Am I worried that my services will no longer be needed and that men will somehow adopt the “flab is good” mentality? Nah.
It just pisses me off to see stupid shit like this being circulated and seen by millions. But if you choose to stay soft and squishy, eat whole pizza’s in one sitting, and drink copious amounts of Anheuser-Busch products, that’s your decision.
I won’t tell you not to do it, but I just can’t believe that looking like a jelly donut will be considered attractive by men or women. Ever.
Just my 2 cents of course….
I could go on and on about how idiotic this fad is, but I’ll leave it here. Suffice it to say I’ll stick with eating quality foods, training hard, avoiding 7-11 nachos, and trying to keep lean and muscular.
So where are you with this? Are you happy with a dad bod or do you want a better physique?