Finding Myself. Again.

This post comes from #FitDadNation member, Ron Guevara.

“I had been very fit through my youth. But getting into med school, going through residency, running a medical practice, getting married, and then starting a family took time away from my ability and frankly my desire to exercise and stay fit.

I worked hard to provide for my family. I put my kids through private school and put my ex through massage therapy school and when she decided she didn’t want to do that, I put her through nursing school. Towards the end of my marriage my ex-wife had weight loss surgery and dropped 85 pounds and I decided that I needed to do something for my health as well.

I started to walk and run and also started cycling. That helped some but I felt I needed more instruction. That’s when I found a gym with personal trainers and nutritionists. I joined the gym for several reasons which included realizing that my family’s medical history was pretty bad. My dad died from complications related to uncontrolled diabetes,  my mom had to have open heart surgery and my older sister had a stroke.

I wanted to be around for a long time for my two kids and hopefully for their kids. And lastly, with all the weight my ex had lost I felt I needed to get fit and look good for her. Little did I know that that wouldn’t matter. She started to get attention from other men and apparently enjoyed that.

I continued to work out and ended up dropping about 20 pounds and felt great. Then she hit me with the divorce.

I took it pretty hard. Like many of you reading this, I was in it for the long haul and she wasn’t. I had stopped going to the gym and tried to spend more time at home in an attempt to save the marriage. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make ’em drink though. The divorce went through and I hit rock bottom.

I love my kids more than anything else. I missed them so much. We would spend so much time together and my ex worked nights and didn’t spend a lot of quality time with us. They truly are my best friends.

I was depressed after going through the divorce and not seeing my kids on a regular basis. I watched a lot of TV and did a whole lot of nothing.

Then one morning I woke up and thought: This is not where I want to be or who I want to be. I made the conscious decision that I was not going to be depressed anymore. I had people tell me that I needed to find myself.

Well I did and wasn’t thrilled about what I found. An overweight, depressed shell of the man who had once been so fit and confident. I decided that needed to make myself into the man I always wanted to be.

So I turned to my kids, my faith, my family & my friends. I started to pay attention to my diet and nutrition and I got back into the gym. And I got into the best shape of my life. My relationships with my kids, God, my family and friends are amazing. My journey into building the man I wanted to be was becoming a reality.

Starting Over..

I never thought that l would find anyone worth starting a significant relationship with after my divorce. After what I endured with my ex, I vowed that I would never allow myself to be treated that way again.

Then I met the most beautiful soul I’ve ever known. Amie is an intelligent, educated, confident, caring, giving and loving person. She is also a very attractive woman; tall and athletic. Pretty much a perfect 10 in my opinion. And she was interested in me.

Things have been wonderful ever since. We encourage each other and compliment each other so well. We have started exercising and running together. We are into running  5K’s. We are preparing and eating healthy meals together. She and my kids are getting along great.

The best part about all of this is being loved and appreciated by Amie, my kids, my family, and my friends. I’m not done becoming who I want to be but I know this for sure: I love my life and the direction it is going in.

The best advice that I can give anyone who has gone through the heartache of being deceived and taken advantage of is to start loving yourself. If you love yourself you will never allow anyone to love you less.

This certainly has to include appropriate nutrition, diet and exercise. I believe that it should also include prayer, meditation and self-reflection. Being a part of Single Dad Fit Dad has been a big part of the success I’ve had on my journey to becoming who I want to be.”