I have two friends. One we’ll call Jonah (think Jonah Hill) and the other is Jason (think Jason Statham).
Jonah is a forty one year old father of three and has a low level management job within a large retail company. Jason is a father of two, an entrepreneur, and works from home.
Jonah is built like a brick shit house (if the house was made of pudding). His idea of the four food groups is sugar, salt, grease, and butter. Needless to say, he is fat. Very.
His body fat is well over the “obese” level of 30% and most days he struggles to get through the day. His daily exercise is limited to walking around his store a few dozen times and his long hours keep him from seeing his family most days.
Jason is an active forty four year old guy and spends several days each week doing some form of exercise. He is super active with his kids and somehow has more energy than most guys I’ve ever met (and certainly more than me).
Captain Obvious
Now it’s obvious from their respective lifestyles why Jonah is a hot mess and Jason is not. But what you don’t know is how their lifestyles affect their quality of life.
Jonah is a miserable guy who is pretty down on life every time I see him. He hates his job but feels trapped. His marriage is struggling because he is never home and when he is, he’s too tired to do anything with the family.
His blood pressure and cholesterol are off the charts and I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that he has Diabetes one day soon. It’s a tragic story because he’s a great guy but has virtually given up on living a happy or healthy life.
Jason on the other hand exudes confidence and happiness and actually gives me more energy when I see him. He travels a great deal for work, speaks at seminars around the country, and loves his life.
He’s the type of guy who inspires those around him to be better.
The Trickle Down Effect
You can imagine that Jonah doesn’t have a lot of healthy habits and you’re right. He has made the decision to treat his stomach like a garbage can for many years and is suffering the consequences now.
His lack of energy and motivation plays directly into his apathy towards most things in his life. To me, he seems to be counting down the days until he dies of heart disease.
I’ve also seen how it has affected his career and a lack of any significant promotions over a twenty year period. He seems content to go with the flow and allows life to control him, versus the other way around.
He’s caught in a viscous cycle of complacency and It’s tragic to see.
Now Jason is a different story entirely. He lives each day with passion and abundance and it’s no surprise that he has a flourishing business and a huge network of friends and contacts.
His dedication to his health carries over into his business which carries over into his home life. He is constantly on the go, traveling all over the country, and taking family vacations.
Why This Matters To You
You probably don’t care about my friends but it illustrates a point.
And my point is this:
Each of you have a choice on how to spend your life. It can be spent being lazy, avoiding the hard things, and just grinding through the days or you can choose to live a life that inspires others around you, teaches your kids what a healthy lifestyle is, and empowers you to push your limits and to be a better person.
Just like my friends chose their paths, you can too.
And the good news is that you get to choose any path you want starting right now. Just because you’ve been eating like shit and beating up your body since Vanilla Ice was popular doesn’t mean you can’t start over.
Johan has the opportunity to create an incredible life;one he is deeply passionate about, but will he?
Only he can answer that.
As for you, what will you choose?
My current life is like jonah’s. Before i got married, i was very active (hiking, bike riding, power lifting, soccer, running) My social life was booming, then i met my wife, got married and two kids later, its been tough. I’ve been forced to take a job which requires commuting so i get home at 7pm (i get off at 4pm) and my kids are active as hell. Sometimes i cant keep up with them. Im currently struggling with quit drinking energy drinks. They help me stay awake with the commute but then the crash wears me out pretty bad on top of my 9 hour work day. With being unemployed for two months, i was also forced to get a part time job on the weekend which i will soon start and our debt is affecting my marriage pretty bad. So although jonah did make some bad choices, it sometimes seems like we have no choice. Or maybe there is but with the shit storm im in, i dont see it. Haha. Just my two cents.
Hey Erik,
Your situation hits home with me and I lived something very similar. The best thing I did was to make the (extremely hard) decision to split from my wife. My life was heading in a direction that was unhealthy and toxic and I had to do the thing I said I never would and get a divorce.
Of course I would never recommend you do that but you HAVE to change your situation. You will be miserable as fuck and your life is just ticking away. Here are a few things that I’ll tell you that I believe will help you greatly:
1. Quit the energy drinks. They will suck your energy more than give it to you and will fuck with your hormones over time. Water, although boring, is MUCH better for your energy. Most of the “energy” you feel is from the placebo effect anyway.
2. Get help with your debt. I went into 50k debt after I got married and it took a lot of work to pay it off. It included taking loans from family, negotiating with credit cards companies, and using tax refunds from several years. In the end I paid it off. If it’s messing with your relationship, you need to have a serious talk with your wife and set a very clear plan together of how it will be handled.
3. Try to figure a way out of that part-time job. You’ll be sacrificing quality time with your kids for a few bucks. There are always other options. Start on online business. Sell some of your shit on Craigslist. Ask for a raise at work. Maybe your wife can make some $.
I feel your pain, man. I really do.
You need to get out of that rut and fast or you’ll wake up and be 60 and in the same place or worse..
Hey steve, little update. I got relocated to a different job 10 minutes from home so no more commute. I am now good with my wife. The part time will keep so I can reduce my debt. Since I will have more time, I’m going to start working out again.
My wife mentioned to me that I was not the same guy she fell in love with and that i had changed. Later that night I kept thinking, besides marriage and kids, what changed. I was more active at the time. It was my “happy place”. I love my wife and kids but now with less commute, maybe I can find my happy place again
Well Erik, I’m all for staying together if it makes you happy! Love that your commute is so much less stressful now and you can dedicate more time to exercise and family. Keep me posted on things.
I unfortunately can see some comparison to my life and jonahs. I’m currently in the process of taking my life back no more damn excuses. I got married and now we have two kids and my eating habits got out of hand and I’m saying enough is enough. My life is my own and this journey is my new lifestyle. Glad I found fitdad nation. I know I’m not alone.
You are definitely not alone, Mark. I’m glad to hear you are taking control of your life and health. Stay strong!
Made some big, positive changes over the past few months: sold our house, got out from under the mortgage (with the mandatory, ever-increasing insurance premiums), bought a new house in a totally different state for cash (no mortgage), replaced the worn-out car, and resigned from my job that was no longer fulfilling nor making ends meet.
Fresh start. Everything should be great. Except, I currently have no income. At the beginning that wasn’t a problem, there was money in the bank and I had a “plan”. Reality is that things cost more and take longer to implement than intended. Enthusiasm starts to flag. Sugar and caffeine become crutches to compensate for the dwindling enthusiasm.
I was in “Jonah’s” position. I took steps to make a change. There are positives and negatives to making big changes. (Trading Hawaii sunshine and living on the freaking beach for effin’ snow and living in the middle of nowhere is definitely a positive/negative thing.) What I have thus far failed to do, even though it was in my plan, and even written down, is buckle down on making the positive health and fitness changes. And y’know, as the fitness level deteriorates, so does everything around you. Or at least it can. And in my case that seems to be what’s happening.
Starting tomorrow morning, I hit it again. (Why not right now? ‘Cuz it’s late, I’m tired, and it’s supper time.) I’ll update the blog, “reboot” is more accurate, and make myself accountable… to me!
Goodbye, “Jonah” lifestyle. Hello… lifestyle I envy whenever I cruise Instagram!
Note: okay, it wasn’t much, but I did get out and briskly walk a mile. In the snow. (This is where I lapse into a “back in my day” yarn, right?). Only twenty minutes. But it’s a start. So I’ve started. Also, I “invested” in a new Garmin device — because technology makes working out more fun, right? It’s an expensive form of motivation. I’m gonna go set up a new account at the Garmin site now. And start posting stats tomorrow!
Awesome! Where are you posting it?
It’s been a while, David and I’m happy to hear you’ve made some big changes. You can change your location, job, and even wife but if your habits are the same, you’ll soon find yourself back where you started.